What to do during the first seven days after a dementia diagnosis

Days one and two: write down what you were actually told

Memory of a difficult appointment is unreliable, and the version each family member carries away tends to differ. Before the details blur, write down the specific diagnosis given, whether a type was named, any medications started or changed, referrals made, and the date of the next appointment.

If something was unclear, it is reasonable to call the clinic and ask the nurse line to clarify. Families often assume they missed their chance to ask. They did not.

Day three: protect the four things that carry the most risk

Rather than restructuring daily life, look at the four areas where a mistake causes the most damage: medication, driving, money, and leaving the home unsupervised.

You are not deciding these permanently this week. You are deciding whether each one is currently safe, currently uncertain, or currently unsafe, and adding supervision where the answer is not clearly safe.

• Medication: is anyone confirming doses are taken correctly?
• Driving: has anyone observed recent driving, or is it assumed to be fine?
• Finances: are bills being paid, and has anything unusual appeared on statements?
• Leaving home: is unsupervised time outside the house still appropriate?

Day four: decide who is the primary point of contact

Care fragments quickly when three relatives are each calling the clinic with different questions. Name one person who communicates with medical providers and one person who tracks appointments. They can be the same person, and either role can rotate later.

This is also the moment to check whether legal and financial documents exist — a durable power of attorney, an advance directive, a named health care agent. You do not need to complete them this week. You need to know whether they exist.

Day five: tell a small number of people

Families often either tell no one or tell everyone. A middle path works better: inform the few people whose help you will realistically need in the next few months, and be specific about what would help.

Vague offers of support rarely convert into anything. A concrete request — a standing Thursday visit, a weekly grocery run — usually does.

Days six and seven: write the short list and stop

Close the week with three priorities for the next thirty days, not thirty. A realistic list might be: schedule the follow-up appointment, install grab bars in the bathroom, and have one honest conversation with siblings about how responsibilities will be divided.

Progression is usually gradual, which means most decisions can be made deliberately rather than immediately. Deciding what can wait is part of the plan, not an avoidance of it.